Playing Detective

The Boyfriend went to elaborate lengths to surprise me with a party held in my honour, tossing red herring after red herring in my path to throw me off the scent. But the red herrings were his own fault - originally unnecessary, they were only introduced after I discovered a piece of paper lying in his room that looked suspiciously like a BBQ session to be held very close to the day of my birth, with a list of people's names and things like "cooler" and "tongs" (the latter of which he'd asked me the whereabouts of just a couple of days before).


I knew that we were planning to meet up, but the date wasn't the one we'd agreed upon. Ahh, I told myself, he's planning to surprise me!


And so I asked him about it, and really his first reaction was the most revealing - "Oops!" and an expression a mixture of embarrassment and surprise. And, come to think of it, amusement at his own lapse (ie dumb-ibity). Lucky for him, he managed to recover quickly enough and brush it off as another gathering session he'd been asked to oversee, but unluckily for him, it not enough to pull the wool over my eyes completely. Heheheh.

Hence commenced a detective game of trying to figure out whether this party was imagined or real. But wanting very much indeed to be surprised, this detective, like any other with conflicting interests, didn't go all the way to find out the truth. Still, many questionable inconsistencies arose.

Shortly after my discovery of The Paper, he told me that the day they'd been planning to have that gathering had to be postponed, because many people couldn't make it, and also because Gee Hock's place could not be utilised because he'd already booked the pit for his FOC (note this point because it comes into play in an important way later on).
(Inconsistency number 1: I'd noticed many ticks next to people's names (and annotations next to those who would be late).)

We-almost-blew-it moment number 1 (But which went right by me without my even realising): Linghui accidentally referring to a meeting which I was not privy to. When I went "what meeting what meeting?", much on-the-spot covers up had to be ad libbed, causing many Academy Awards to be given out after the performance.

So these were the inconsistencies to the lead-up of the day of my Surprise!. Still, they weren't major enough beacons, so even though I had my suspicions, I promptly forget them. However, on the night before D-Day, a plot development almost foils Significant One's plan:

And this is "Inconsistency number 2".

Inconsistency number 2: Barry asks me out for dinner and I say yes, but Chye starts to whine about not being not my priority list and refuses to go home for a half-hour til I finally give in. The thing is, we'd previously agreed that, if either party wants to spend some time with personaly friends, that the other party would be gracious about it. But Vanity proved triumphant over the more obvious but dull Logic, and I just felt gleeful about his showing of possessiveness. (Okay that sounds psycho, but what I meant is, it felts good that he (seemed to) be jealous. Okay that sounds like some dumb woman thing too. Whatever, you know what I mean.) I mean, come on, the moment my friend tells me he wants to have dinner with me, you come and tell me you wanna have dinner with me too? If that isn't jealousy/the first sign of a possessive streak since I started going out with you, then what is? You can't blame a girl for thinking that, ok.

The plot thickens on D-Day:

Gee Hock calls up unexpectedly (and, come to think of it now, really well-timed - coz I'd just gotten home from the airport) and asks to borrow my cooler and tongs.

See that? See that? Chye had written "cooler" and "tongs" on his little piece of paper!

But I was swayed by Gee Hock's acting skills, because he sounded earnestly in need of these things, and really paiseh that he had to trouble me for them. However, it seemed out of character for him, I guess for most people really, to organise a BBQ so last minute. And having to trouble more than one person to get things which you are responsible for, down to your place for you. So the doubts stayed on.

And, when I told him that I couldn't pass him the items because I wouldn't be home - I'd intended to stay out with Barry til I needed to go to the dinner place, the venue of which by the way had shifted from the zi char place downstairs to another zi char place near Chye's - he declines to allow Eugene, who was gonna help him do the transportation of goods, to come up to my place and collect them. Which was weird on hindsight, because if you were so desperate as to call me last minute to get the things, then this wouln't be much further of a stretch of the skin - but we now know the real reason why. Anyway, Chye informs me maybe half and hour later that the zi char stall was fully-booked and we were going back to eating at my place.

Weird, what a coincidence, I thought. But I just shrugged it off and called Gee Hock and told him I could, after all, pass him his damn things. And Chye brilliantly acts all surprised when I tell him about it, even joking about asking for free food from Gee Hock. He pulled the wool at that point.

Is this getting tedious to read? But I really must finish my story, because I am still so utterly amazed at all the trouble everyone, The Boyfriend especially, took to cover this up until the moment of unveiling. So scroll down and look at the pictures if you're bored. Continue I will.

Along the way however, a stupid inconsistent thing happened: Gee Hock calls me and tells me the designated driver has been changed, to be substituted with Da Hua, and that he'd come and pick me around 730-800pm. Which is totally, way past our meeting time of 730pm! And when I decide to call Chye and tell him about this, he acts as if he didn't know. Which is totally out of character of Da Hua!

So that's when I start seriously wondering, gee, are they really planning something behind my back? But I considered the work that had to be put behind the scenes to pull something like this off, and I came to the conclusion (and oh how totally wrong I was!) that no one would take the trouble.

And, things just continued to get curiouser and curiouser:

The Boyfriend and Da Hua insist I go along for the ride, instead of joining Eugene, who I presumed to be waiting all alone at the table. Their lame excuse? So we could go and kapok some food from Gee Hock. And leave poor Eugene, all hungry, alone? But I wanna go, coz I wanna to be surprised, but I had to question Chye, so he calls to check on Eugene, who tells him that he had been joined by Mingfang and Linghui, when all along he was lying in wait at Gee Hock's.

The detective in me decides to test them. As we drive past the coffeeshop, I wondered out loud if we could spot Eugene. But there were too many people that even if he were there, I wouldn't have been able to see him. And, oh, I just realised something: Chye decided to sit in the front instead of at the back with me. Probably he was worried that his facial expressions would give himself away, hawhaw. And yes, I did detect some nervousness. But I couldn't be sure if I'd imagined it.

When we finally get to the pit, Chye, still in character, makes some remark about how he didn't recall the pool to be as big as it was the last time we were there, when in fact he'd been there since the afternoon - and that threw me off course. They even let me lead the way - the wrong way - until one of them noted that, hey, that guy in the distance over there looks like Gee Hock! So we walk back. Wool over my eyes.

When we approach, I notice an absence of young, rowdy, radio-blasting kiddos befitting an FOC, only they bags. Gee Hock says they are upstairs. Crikey, they hadn't even started BBQ-ing!

"Wah lau, they so lazy ah, make you do all the cooking!" I rant.
"Yah lor, " came the reply. Then, suddenly, he looks up, into the distance, a weird look on his fact. "Hey, look!" he points.
"Huh?" I look, and I start to think, okok so it was true! Surprise! Surprise!

Nothing.

I look back.

"Huh?"

He tries again. "Uh, look!"

What the... ok I'll play along, but this is the last time. I look.

.... And nothing happens.

And he gives up his poor cue-giving.

"Oei, come out la! Why you all never come out?"

And there they were, all my friends from secondary school, grinning from ear to ear and popping party poppers the air.

Best birthday present in a while.
Best boyfriend.

Thanks, guys! Thanks so much for gracing my surprise party. It meant a lot to me that you guys were there last night. Thank you all for the effort! *muuuuuuuuuuaaahhh!*

Happy Birthday to me. Hee.

I think I'm perpetually in a different time zone. Started packing my wardrobe, which was creaking under the weight of all my clothes, at 1 in the morning. Then I went to do some laundry. And then showered. Which resulted, not suprisingly, in me feeling more awake and alert than I otherwise ought to be at this time of night.

So blog I shall - I went to the famous Shilin Night Market the night before a typhoon hit Taipei. Basically, I just ate whatever my already-filled stomach could handle, and tah pau-ed whatever else that caught my attention (having a preference for those that could keep over those that couldn't - that's why I never got to taste what Taiwanese-style fried oyster omelette was like). Behold, evidence:

The 臭豆腐 that I made a beeline for (plonking on the seat of the first stall selling it I came across, hardly needing any persuasion at all from the vendor) and the pair of splinter-riddled chopsticks that drove a wayward sliver of wood into my left index finger. It only came out 24 hours later, when I got home the next day. The tofu wasn't, by the way, as bad as I'd imagined it to be. I think the only nastiness came from the frying process.

Rain, rain go away

Little children want to play

(And some not-so little ones too)

Rows and rows of UFO Catcher machines, all lonely despite making all the noise in the world to attract some company.

Some weird juice of some plant/vegetable I drank. I forget its name. The vendor tried to explain it to me, but I didn't really understand, except perhaps for a bit on how it solidifies when it comes in contact with water. But I got confused when she said it becomes liquid again through the same method.

The Mexican/pseudo-Mexican buns I bought four of. They come in seven flavours.

A local snack stall with a signboard bearing the name 大饼包小饼 (forgive any typos I may have committed). Basically, crispy ham cheem paengs crushed and then wrapped with poh piah skin.

According to the vendor taking our orders, the crushing has to be done by hand because the delicate poh piah skin would break under the brute force of a machine. Well, until they invent one, anyway.

I never knew these still existed!

I was a little disappointed in the end, because the food market was much smaller than what I'd anticipated. But if my sources are to be believed, then Shilin actually consists of the shopping area surrounding this market as well. Perhaps they will hold more surprises to enthrall me for many more hours in time to come. But it was just as well; it was getting late and I had to make my way back to the hotel, or risk getting caught in heavier rain.

And now, I am ready to drop off to bed. Who said blogs were a waste of time? I've just proven they make very good sleeping pills too.

Hamsters Come From...

H-amsterdam.

Okay okay that was lame. Yeah ok really bad, something even my soci mates would scoff at (and they have low standards), and hardly the way to treat you, my dear reader(s) (I have you in particular in mind when I say this, Adrian), after the long wait I have made you endure. So here they are now, them pictures! Loads and loads of them. Go ahead, knock yerself out!

One of the first I took was this:

Okay it's not too clear; here's a close-up:

Such a nice welcome! Clear, blue sky, the sun, the crisp summer air... I couldn't wait to go out.

And Amsterdam was utterly beautiful and immensely intruiging. There was so much to see and capture - this being my first visit to Europe, it certainly was an eye-opener. Everything is hugely different from what we know in Singapore. The most obvious one being, of course, the fact that soft drugs are legalised over there. Now I didn't go to any of those "coffeeshops" myself, but reliable word has it that these are very common indeed; some went so far as to say that everywhere you walk, you'd be able to smell pot. But either I was walking out of the wind or have a really poor aptitude for picking up new funky odours, because I didn't smell anything remotely out of the ordinary. The closest I got to the drug, in fact, was sucking on one of these.

Er, what?

This:

I saw this in a souvenir shop (and many litter the streets of Ammie) and decided on the spot that I had to get it. I mean, how often in your life would you be able to sample what a consciousness-altering drug would feel like? Or at least, taste like?

Still, the rational, law-abiding side of me had my doubts: was I gonna hallucinate? Puke? Get permanant brain-damage? Or worse, be arrested by the police the moment I arrive back on the shores of our island? So, with these niggling thoughts, I approached the counter. Before I pay my 1 Euro (a ludicrous $2, come to think of it), I joke with the lady manning it: "Will I start to see things that aren't there?"

And she delivers the embarrassing answer: "Of course not! This isn't the real thing! Do you think the real thing will be so cheap?"

Oh, to be mocked as a tourist. Anyway, it tasted vaguely like sng buay and was altogether forgettable.

There was also a shop named "When Nature Calls" that piqued my companion's and my interest. When we approached however, we realised all it was selling were these things.

So the drugs were one defining factor about Amsterdam. What else was there?

1)

Bicycles. Lots and lots of them. There are bicycle tracks on pedestrian sidewalks, and these cyclists just plough through them, stopping for no one. They'd rather swerve out of your way than slow down, so one has to be think twice before getting into their path.

A rare no-bicycle zone. (And a man who thinks I'm taking a picture of him. Shameless.)

A close-up on the bicycles locals ride. Full of the old-world charm, are they not? I really wanted to get on one of these and have my picture taken, but self-consciousness got in the way.

The other major way of getting around would be via these nifty inventions:

They, too, plough through the streets like objects possessed. Of course, however, they do let out a honk of concession to shopping pedestrians on the street. Cars drive at right angles to trams at these streets. On bigger roads they travel side by side.

2)

Canals. Amsterdam is dotted with canal after canal after canal. After a while you wonder if you're starting to walk in circles, there are so many of them. The one featured below is right outside my hotel

... which in turn is located right next to a sidewalk. How cool is that?

Just makes you feel really safe and secure, doesn't it?

3)

The Sexmuseum, or the Venus Tempel (I think). By this time my camera batteries were nearing exhaustion, so I didn't manage to take as many pictures as I desired. Here's another interesting one, captured right before they gave up on me.

Here's another interesting one. But guess what? It's not part of the exhibits in the Sex Museum; rather, it is a real pee-pee place! I actually saw it being utilised. Gives a whole new meaning to the term "public toilet". A peek into its floor revealed lots of ugly stains. Shudder.

And while we're on the topic of toilets, here's another outdoor version, this time offering one more privacy.

But the exorbitant fee to enter, as well as fears of assualts onto my personal hygiene, deterred me from stepping inside.

4) Cheese. (How did urine lead on to food? Sorry, bad planning on my part.)

Yummmmm.

That's my companion taking pictures with her $2,000 digital SLR. Beside her is some machine to make cheese. I think it presses down on the cheese and that does something to it. Hurhurhur.

There are more cows in the Netherlands than there are people in Singapore, and each cow provides 6,000 litres of milk each year. Go figure.

On my short stay there, I also took a day trip to the countryside. So absolutely stunning, that it almost didn't matter that I got sunburnt. Almost.

Before the trip we gathered outside the tour agency, where this nice larger-than-life clog sat. Oh yes, that would make defining factor #5, wouldn't it?

My intention really wasn't to take a picture of these two girls, but they just sorta climbed in after I shot my companion and she got out. Ironically, their proud mom told us, half-abashedly, how people had been asking her repeatedly whether they could take pictures of her daughters. To which my companion replied acerbically, "Actually we wanted to take pictures of ourselves in the shoe." The mother replied, "Oh." but didn't do anything, which pissed my companion off more.So I guess that's why I took this picture? Sorry the details are kinda blurry, so forgive my artistic license if there has been any. Anyway it makes for quite a cute anecdote, no? And in the end I did get my picture, and since it wasn't that easy to get it (it involved running after the tour group, which was walking into the distance), I am obliged to post it up.

I think I'm cuter.



One of the places we went to on the day trip was a little town. I don't know what's so special about this town because I didn't follow the tour guide as we walked around (in fact we almost got lost thanks to our trigger-happy fingers), but I do know it's pretty. Some evidence.

(After I took this shot, I spied a little old woman shimmy quickly into the comfort of her room, away from the prying eyes of The Tourist. Oops.)

(and look, they recycle! With such meticulousness!)

Even the trash is pretty.

And similarly, at a little fishing village:

Okay, I know the pictures have started to become really random (but still pretty), but I've been working on this post for sooooo long, wrecked with problems like a bad internet connection, no time, and no time, that all I want is to get this over and done with. So, dear reader(s) (meaning Adrian, of course), I leave you with - you guessed it - more random pictures and comments.

The little eatery serving Dutch fare that me and my conpanion tracked down from an address I found on the internet. Apparently, when the Dutch go out to eat they rarely want to eat Dutch food, which is why there aren't many restaurants offering local food around, and which is also why we simply had to try some.

This is "Poffertjes", a traditional Dutch treat of mini-pancakes served with butter, icing sugar, ice cream and strawberries.

The first time we saw the way "Chinese" was spelt we gaffawed, but after two days of repeated typos, it struck us that maybe this was how they spelt it in Dutch.

(P/S This took 15 days to complete.)